Every week the London Lite newspaper sends two people on a blind date. It's usually somewhere fun and quirky - they always take a photo and then interview them the next day to get the gossip.
A couple months ago I decided to send my photo into the London Lite, answer a couple of quick questions and see what would happen. I had forgotten about it until two weeks ago when I got an email from them asking me if I wanted to go on a date with Katherine. They said they would pay for everything! Not one to turn down a free lunch with an attractive lady. I typed yes as quickly as I could and pressed send.
The dolphin trainer
I then remembered with slight horror what I had put in my application. Under the occupation section I had written art director (which is true) and dolphin trainer (which is not). At the time I thought it would be really funny but now I was slightly worried - what would happen if the only reason she chose me was to fulfill a childhood dream of dating a dolphin trainer. What was I supposed to do now? I could come clean, phone the newspaper and say that I couldn’t do it. I would admit that I was a liar and take it like a man. My work mates had better ideas.
They suggested I do the ‘honest’ thing. Firstly enrol in the nearest DTA (Dolphin Training Academy) and hope that they run really short courses. Then secondly, practise making dolphin noises and inserting them mid-sentence during conversation - they assured me this wouldn't sound weird and reckoned it would make me more appealing to the opposite sex. Lastly make a dolphin trainer business card and keep it in my wallet at all times. Some would say it was a fool proof plan (I am not so certain about that).
The date
We planned to met at Zizzi’s restaurant near Baker St at 1pm. When I got to the restaurant I easily recognized Katherine as she looked exactly like her photo. I sat down and straight away the conversation along with the champagne started flowing. I quickly found out that we had a lot in common; we where both running the London Marathon, training hard and trying to raise money for different charities. We both promised to sponsor each other.
We talked about our favourite holidays, our families and what we would take to a desert island. We discussed who we would want to eat our last supper with and what was playing on each others ipod. I was really impressed that she was a fan of the kooks and had even made a trip to Glastonbury. Then came the moment of truth and the question I had been avoiding all night. She wanted to know about dolphin training and more importantly, how to train one.
I had to think quickly. So I grabbed out my Dolphin trainer business card and casually flashed it in-front of her. I hoped this would distract her and give me some more time, but it didn't seem to be working. So I said the first and only thing I could think of- 'You train them like dogs, just throw a stick and they'll chase it - easy!' She looked at me in amazement and said 'really - that's cool' - I think I fooled her.
I checked my watch and realised that we needed to hurry to meet the photographer. We where off to Madame Tussauds for a couple of photos for the newspaper article. I hadn’t been there since I was a child so I was pretty excited about it.
When we arrived it was straight into the ‘cheesiest’ part of the day – getting a wax model of our hands made. We had to hold hands and then dip them into a bowl of warm wax a few times. They then removed the layer of wax from our hands and left it to dry. Once dried you had your own wax model hand to take away. After this it was a very quick tour of Tussauds with even more photos. Imagine performing cheerleading poses with the characters from High School Musical or having a very close encounter with the queen - It made for a very interesting afternoon. In the end it took nearly an hour to take the photos, Katherine realized she was running late for a marathon charity fundraiser and had to 'run'...
Now all I have to do is wait until next Tuesday afternoon's edition of the London Lite to find out what ‘she says’ about it all. (My guess for the introduction: ‘We sent two marathon runners on a date – will they run away with each others hearts?’)
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